An Aha Moment While Learning Meditation
Meditation is a practice I have heard about often. But, I never gave two hoots about it. It didn’t seem interesting enough, although anxiety and stress had got the better of me on many occasions!
But this year, I began reading more about mindfulness meditation. I learned that it could be a good habit to have while pursuing my life goals. Also, my cousin, who had been practising meditation for a year, nudged me to try it. 'I am in a much better space now, thanks to meditation,' he said, looking at me in a meditative way. It seemed true. He had an air of calm.
So, I finally decided to give mindfulness meditation a try.
Getting Started
I installed apps for guided meditation on my phone. I decided to delve into them and explore them. It should be simple, right?
Well, it wasn’t! I found the practice of mindfulness to be incredibly difficult.
‘Concentrate on your breathing as it is,’ the guiding voice said.
That seemed fine, but I felt like I was changing my breathing pace every time I tried to focus on it.
‘Observe the sounds outside without thinking about them,’ he said.
How the hell do you do that? How do you hear something and not think about it? I mean, making sense of a sound involves thought. And why was I thinking about all this while I was supposed to be observing the sound?
‘It’s okay if your mind wanders. Just bring the attention back whenever that happens,’ he continued.
Ah, that’s a relief. But, the problem was that I was getting distracted by thoughts 80 to 90 % of the time. In one session, I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even realize when the session was over. I was still sitting there, lost in thought, like a fool.
And this is what it felt like during the first three months. I wasn’t that consistent either in practice. The main struggle was in suppressing my thoughts as they arrived. I couldn’t do that and focus on the blank space in my consciousness, as they called it. I didn’t seem to make any progress or have any benefits.
A Breakthrough
Then, after a few months, I had a breakthrough! I discovered it was not about suppressing my thoughts but separating them. I had heard this before, but this was the first time I internalised the concept.
And this was such an Aha moment for me as this made all the difference.
Now, what is the difference between suppressing thought and separating it?
Suppressing your thoughts is like fighting them and trying to make them go away. That’s not healthy.
But separating your thoughts is more about taking them out of your mind and observing them.
I visualised this by seeing the thought that arrived in my mind as a cloudy floating entity. Now, I take this entity out of my mind and observe it hanging outside. It’s like how Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter reference) takes out one of his memories and puts it in the ‘Pensieve’ to observe it. It provides a third-party perspective to the memory (or the thought in this case).
It is a creative and effective way to separate your thoughts from your mind and observe them. The process may resemble journaling at times.
The Benefits
Wondering if I saw any practical benefits of doing this process? Here is an overview:
By separating a thought, I could clear my mind and improve my focus. I would allow the thought to float outside and deal with it later. Or, it would have already vanished!
By observing a thought without judgment, I remained calmer. I could see my thoughts as different entities from my mind’s consciousness. It dawned upon me that I always had a choice in deciding how to act on my thoughts.
By observing several thoughts, I could select the ones to let go of and those to explore further. Remember, not all thoughts are counterproductive. Sometimes, a wandering mind is necessary for creativity and exploration.
So, as I said earlier, it is never about suppressing your thoughts. It is about observing them.
In conclusion, a simple shift in technique enabled me to meditate the right way. I saw the benefits too. Meditation is now a part of my routine like strength training at the gym. Their combination is one lethal self-improvement tool. If you’re a beginner, the best thing to do is start and build consistency over time.
